And today you seek refuge
In the vastness of this time and space
The longing for enlightenment
The end of a samsaric existence
To be a champion for those
Lost in the darkness of the matrix of life
An endless cycle
Refuge in the jewels
Refuge in the way
The middle ground
Today you seek
Not for an answer but an awakening
To open the heart mind to a deep feeling
To release the bondage
Of the monkey mind
The closed off heart
To become selfless and kind
Today you seek
Tag: dreams
The Trust
I am but a small child
I trust you
I love you
I would do anything for your love
Anything?
You call my name
Take my hand
Close the door and
I have a dream…
I am standing in the rain
You are keeping me safe
You hold me close to keep my dry
I listen to the rain and feel you
I close my eyes and you dry me off
You take my hand and lead me away
Again you hold me and tell me it’ll be alright
You must me right… you love me I trust you
You rub my trembling arms
I can feel the warmth in my belly
I don’t feel well
I am scared
I close my eyes tighter and see a flower
I touch its petals
They are soft and smell like old spice
A bee is hovering I can hear the buzzing
It lands gently on the flower
And the flower becomes me
The bee tickles me with its tongue
I reach down to touch the bee and it stings me
I hold back my tears
It was my fault and it didn’t mean to hurt me
As the flower closes I fall asleep
A dew drop runs down my cheek
You pick me up and put me to bed
I close my eyes tight and pretend to be asleep
This is our dream you say
Our secret place
My tummy feels sick again as I roll over and wish I were dead
Fragility
I walk upon the desert floor
Red sands of ancient seashores and reefs
White sands blend into grey
Walls of stone and sand
Carved over millions of years.
Thrust up and sculpted by the wind and rain
Back on the ground
The fragile Indian rice
Mother nature’s doilie
Delicate as it shimmers in the afternoon sun
The columbine show their salmon colors on a ridged green stalk
The cactus protect their lacy blooms with great thorns
The sages of all kind sway in their early soft grey and green fronds
The smell of sage heavy in the hot air rising from the red path beneath my feet
A delicate balance
A fragility of life in a harsh yet beautiful environment
What does it feel like to be alone?
In the wilderness, it’s being the only two humans around. Nothing but the sound of your heart beat in the silence. Your breath. Then the wind far off as it rushes through the willows and the trees that line the river in a wave until it reaches me. The green turns to silver as it brushes over the tops of the willows and grasses. The smooth surface of the water becomes disturbed and shivers as the wind touches it. A fish jumps. A shrill chirp of a bird. The sound of the air cut by the wing of a passing bird. The sound of the hollow rattle of the wood pecker. To be able hear your thoughts and watch them pass as they find no ground in your quiet still mind. Chris stands still out among the elusive trout in the river. Her line shimmers in the early morning sun light. Gandaulf sits…barely tall enough to be seen waiting for her to catch a fish.
To be alone is not to be lonely but to become one with all that lives and breathes around you without having to say a word. You, inside your own self yet cognitively aware of all that’s around you. To be separate from the thoughts of others…not influenced, you, yourself. Lack of stress. Living in the moment. Allowing a silent tear when you think of the others you love and how they suffer. Alone with the vibration of all that’s around you.
Alone at 9400 ft. Amazing, peaceful, alarming, silent yet very loud, small, powerful, beauty beyond words only felt. Clear air, clean water, bright sunshine, starry skies, incredible moon! Timeless, unstructured, fun, meditative, no cell phone, internet, Pandora, XM, only the song that rattles around in your head all day – the mantra. FULL! JA
An Awakening…
The Tribe has Gathered
The stirring ceases
The mind clears
The thoughts drift away
We sit as one tribe
The moment we all sit silent
I can hear my heart beat
The tiny birds in the canyon
Crows talking above
The wind in the rocks
The incense burningQ
We meet as one
Each in their power
The silence brings tears to my unfocused eyes
I drift off…
I am Alex the protector
The strong warrior
The wild child
I seek instant gratification
I would fight to the end for the Tribe
I am LJ the broken hearted
I feel the tribes pain as my own
My tears are your tears
This world is beautiful
And I am home here
This world speaks to me
It listens to me
The animals are my friends
I am Aubrey the lost one
I am scared
This world is big
I miss my new friends
I only want a hug
I am Otter the Empath and Healer
I am bodhichitta
I am shaman
I have a heart of love and compassion
This is my world
I walk with the tribe
Into the unknown
And comfort the fear
The universe is my father
The earth my mother
I am most powerful
I am Butch the two spirited
I have the energy of love
Misdirected at times
I am the jester
I bring overwhelming love to my new tribe
I need direction
I am Zak the Poet
I hear the thoughts
I am the scribe
The record keeper
The story teller
I am powerful yet equal to the tribe
I hold wisdom and knowledge of the ancients
Together we live in this vessel
This mind, heart and soul
Together we are one united
A balanced driving force
Individual we loose the focus
I return to my soft stare
The wind cools my body from the heat of the sun
My mind calm
My body relaxed
Good day world
ja 2020
Now You Will Listen
And the hand of the creator fell upon the earth
With a calm loving voice
I have asked you to care for what I’ve given you
I have warned you about exploiting the Mother Earth
I have sent warnings and yet you continue to rape her
I have asked you in a gentle way
To protect the waters
And yet you continue to poison them with your waste
I have requested you
To comfort the animals of my planet
And yet you still kill and plunder for sport
I have implored you to protect the skies…the very air you breathe
And yet you continue to pump tons of pollutants into your own life force
I am tired of asking…
Now you will listen
As I blanket the earth and all human occupants with this plague
Now you will listen
But not not by choice
Now I will bring you to your knees
I will rob you of the precious life I have given you
I will take away your freedoms you hold so dear
I will throw you into silence and isolation that your fear will force you to Up hold
Now it is your lives I pollute
I pillage and I steal from you
Now you will listen
Life on the Road
It’s no small task to take off on a road trip of a lifetime. To become a traveler of both time and space. Exploring anything that catches our eye. Going with the weather, eventually heading North and cutting the umbilical cord from our life of 28 years. This of course means I need to get a good handle on my tribe and understand and work with Chris and Tracy to keep me in line if I should loose focus. It’s tiring to stay so focused, but I know it’s what I got to do.
Gandaulf is enjoying life on the road… or he just loves being with his moms all the time. Either way he is comfortable in the van and that’s a good thing. He has his own memory foam seat between us and is able to see out the windows. He is starting to even learn to sleep while driving. He’s such a good boy and everyone loves him.
WE did this 27 yrs ago. Sold everything we owned, and hit the road. Back then it was a silly dream, early middle age crisis… a healing journey that solidified our relationship. We both are at home in nature, be it mountains, deserts, beaches not so much big cities. This is a journey with no real destination. A healing vagabond journey. A wondering yogi. Two lost souls looking to release, relax and reconnect.
Emptiness
The sound of the river rushing by in constant flow
The towering cliffs stand tall and hard against the deep blue sky
Carved by this liquid snake over eons of time
The trees stand and watch the the endless motion of this fluid architect
Gently the bubbles make their way down the current
Rocks hold to their purchase of land against the rivers flow
Others roll along without putting up a fight
My mind is sucked into the current… empty… constantly fluid… clinging to nothing
Awakening of the Heart
My heart has been chained
Whipped and beaten
Broken and bruised
Someone always feels
I don’t get to choose who
I can feel deeply
“But it’s not allowed”
They scream
I try not to listen
A touch
Not physical
But energy flowing
One to another
A mingling of souls
A melting of hearts
From a distance
But mingling in spirit
Wordless pause
The ache
The release
Tears
Heartbreak
Feeling strong
Yet vulnerable
And the love
Overwhelming
An awakening
Of the heart
Waging War
I grew up in a time of segregation…discrimination.
A time when I learned to hate for no reason.
Where everyone I knew was the same color as me.
The adults so stuck in their small minds of the time.
Crosses burning in a young black child’s mind.
What a fucked up world we live in
“The times they are a changin’” used to play on the air
Let it Be…imagine… and so I did
I imagined the love and peace of these songs.
Chanted and cheered about love.
As I watched friends die from a “war” no one wanted to talk about
Sending brothers and sisters into hell as parents weeped.
It was a war waged… man against man … brother against brother.
While In the streets of our home…
the black man weeps.
Gays die of AIDS.
What a fucked up world we live in.
Our politicians that act as if they were gods…
Play Russian roulette with the little mans lives.
“We speak for the people” they lie through their teeth… as the poor man struggles to get on his feet.
What a fucked up world we live in
We’ve now grown older and wiser we think.
We now see things
our parents choose not to see.
Their whole damn lives…
taking a back seat to the man.
Polluting rivers and seas with oil brought from the ground, plastic and toxic waste.
Burning fuels that are so carcinogenic…we…once again suffer from their mistakes.
Guns and mass shootings are a thing these days?!?
What a fucked up world we live in
There’s a fire burning though…
From the kids down below…
who now watch their friends die.
afraid to go to school?!?
Think they’ll sit back and watch?!
Don’t bet on it Jack!
These kids are on fire and will be cleaning house soon enough.
Forward thinkers, motivated activists, kids that refuse to take no for an answer.
This is the army now fighting the war that their parents refuse to believe in…
turn a blind eye to.
As the children sit back and cry.
What a fucked up world we live in.
