fear factor – Two Travelin' Chicas… A Grand Adventure

Back on home turf…let a new journey begin

It’s been a month since we flew from Singapore back to Salt Lake City, UT, our home state, and it seems like we are finally getting a routine back into our lives. We pet/house sit for a week or so, then spend time in the van, then another pet/house sit, then back into the van and back into the desert for some silence. I am afraid this is as routine as it will get. It seems that Chris and I both have restless souls that prefer to wander than to settle down. Traveling allows us to meet and get to know new people on a personal level, one where they are engaged and not simply exchanging niceties.

The last two days have been a bit overcast and rainy. This made for a fun few days in the desert. It is this life giving rain that brings the deserts into bloom and, at the same time, turns the roads into a slick slurry of mud and sticky clay. After a night of downpours, we decided it wise to retreat from the back country and find some provisions and refill the water tank. The ride out was a nail biter but the 4X4 helped out. The slick mud and clay sticking to every inch of the van.

In a harsh environment, such as the desert, any rain that makes it to the ground is a godsend. Before the storm set in, the sky was full of brilliant white towering clouds with grey bottoms, being heavy laden with water. Below these beautiful floating vapor wonders, hang wispy sheets of rain that dissipate hundreds of feet from the ground, never a drop reaching the earth, this is called virga.

This strange but beautiful event occurs when the air is too hot and dry for the rain to hit the ground, it also can create dangerous down burst winds. These winds often show themselves as dust devils, columns of dust, sand and dirt that swirl hundreds of feet into the air like an invisible tornado starting from the ground up. It’s an amazing sight to witness and unforgiving if one is caught near one of these devils. They will hit a car and try to push it off the road, fill a tent and sleeping bag full of sand and send trash and debris flying hundreds of feet into the air, as if they were ballerinas preparing for a dervish dance.

Traveling, as we do, is not for everyone. Some people like the comforts of four walls, TV, and a routine that rarely changes. Traveling is hard, takes a lot of planning and when traveling in a van, some heavy lifting. It can take you way out of your comfort zone or help you find a new one. It is, however for us, rewarding and fulfilling. The people you meet can be precious gemstones, or an obstacle, your choice. We may think we live in the best country in the world, but unless you travel…how would you know?

Hopes, Dreams and a New Year

And again, it is time to move along to our next destination, Singapore.

The last 10 days have been spent recovering from a 43 day tour of SE Asia, including Thailand, Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. The things we have seen, heard and experienced, will be indelibly etched into our psyches forever.

The kindness of the locals, the stories told by our many guides, the sights and sounds of countless prisons, war museums and mass grave sites.

The opulence of beautiful temples. The immense grandeur of karst mountains jutting up from azure blue waters. Tiny, brightly painted long boats and giant wooden boats gliding down the Mekong and bobbing in silent, protected coves.

Stunning, powdery white sand beaches, towering skyscrapers in bustling cities, the sensory overload of horns and music blaring from establishments, to the gentle crashing of waves.

All these things paint a picture in our minds eye of life in these countries. We hunger for more as our thirst for travel and new experiences hasn’t waned in the 9 months we’ve been traveling.

What have we learned? Well, how to live in the moment, how to sit in silence, how to take life as it comes with no preconceived notions of what the next destination will bring. We’ve learned to accept that which we cannot change and make the best of it. Mostly, I’d say we’ve learned to slow down. We aren’t just living a dream but also have responsibilities. We have time to pick and choose our battles and how we will approach them. As a teacher of mine always says, we have the luxury of leisure.

It warms my heart to know that sometimes, just the words I write, can transport some of you outside of your haste and allow you 10 or 15 minutes to dream and escape reality. Perhaps they stir a deep longing inside of you to travel outside of your comfort zone.

The life of a traveler is constantly stepping into the unknown and overcoming any trepidation that may arise from traveling to a new destination, one we’ve never been to before. Learning new languages, customs and new currencies. We are traveling to find a place to settle in and become a landing spot, after all, we can’t continue this pace forever and the urge to stop sometimes looms large. But in the mean time, we plan a few weeks to a month and do it again and again. I hope you will continue to follow us and join in our exploration.

Cambodia: A Personal De-brief

Cambodia Recap

Today we all boarded the bus headed for Bangkok, Thailand, bright and early. We have a 6+ hour ride in total, 3 to the border and 3.5-4 hours into Bangkok. We drew the lucky straw and got the 45 passenger bus for 14 of us. Plenty of room to stretch out.

It’s nice to get a really early start…most of the daily activities of the locals happens before the sun is blazing high in the sky and the humidity kicks in. As we roll past rice fields and farms, small road side stands, typical houses and the ocasional neat and tidy, brightly colored home, everyone is busily preparing for their day. Families out in the rice fields, wielding scythes and woven baskets, others walking behind their water buffalo with long, thin switches, herding them to the tall grasses and thick muddy fields. Women, with straw brooms, sweeping the dirt in front of their fruit stands. Children in blue and white uniforms, gather under large thatch roof structures, absorbing knowledge from the teachers. The bright saffron robes of the monks, collecting their offerings from the villagers and shop owners. Honking horns, motorbikes, buses and tuk tuks, dodging each other jockeying for their purchase of pavement, turning 2 lane roads into 3 or 4. Others take their place, swaying gently in their hammocks, observers of life as it passes by the hour. There’s a certain peace about the chaos.

I can’t help but to reflect on the last 3 days of diving into the history and religious culture. The archeological perspective of a hard past… pride and humility, defeat and triumph, war and peace, life and death. Ancient ruins, carefully extracted from the jungle that sought to take back its natural state. Temples built on the backs of slaves and beasts of burden. Time capsules of history. Places of sacrifice and enlightenment. Schools and places of deep worship. Inside the stone pillars and walls, etched with great talent and insight, these are the words and lessons of past masters, kings, and ancestors. The desire to reconstruct and refurbish the towers and galleries was quite evident as all around us men carefully removed huge slabs of deteriorating sandstone and others etching the past back into the replcements. The mastery and skill needed to recreate such revered symbolism is highly prized.

Cambodia has reclaimed its place in SE Asia. The entire society, for the most part, is young and full of vision. Every family has been touched by the hand of war and genocide. It was hard to visit S-21 Re-education camp, (Security 21, a re-purposed high school used to interrogate and torture those that the Khmer leader Pol Pot, felt was a threat) and one of the many Killing Fields, mass unmarked graves. To hear the stories from those who were directly effected and yet somehow survived the horror, was tear jerking. The emotional scars pouring out in quivering voices and sudden looks of horror as they recant their personal demons. A sudden and palpable silence falls on the room as we were told stories of tyrannical torture and degradation of an educated section of the population, through the eyes of our local guide. Something as simple as wearing eyeglasses could be your death, but not only of yourself, but friends, family and so many others. Over 3 million Cambodians died in a 4 year period, either at the hand of the Khmer Rouge regime or from starvation and disease as whole populations were forced into labor and out of their homes.

From here, there’s not much more to tell. A resilient culture, proud people, and a young nation, struggling to change for the better. A loving people, lead by Buddhist teachings of respect and kindness. Cities…new and bristling with growth and new infrastructure. A simple folk just living day to day with smiling faces.

Backpack and Barefootin’

Some mug shots before we go. I have packed and repacked. It’s approaching 25lbs plus about 4-5lb spread in the front. Mind you, we are not going backpacking, just moving from one mode of transportation to another, hotel to boat to trains, we got it all coming. It’s a tolerable weight in a well balanced women’s EJA Osprey pack. I am guessing maximum walk would be a mile or two but I doubt it’ll be the same in SE Asia than EU.

Comfortable shoes…that’s been the next scramble since we’ve been back in SLC. These are my beach shoes, I have another pair plus my sturdy Merrell hiker sandals. Some TeVA mush flip flops for pool and shower. We have bought more shoes for CW and finally narrowed it down to a Merrell hiker sandal and a ALTRA Women’s Lone Peak 6 Trail Running Shoe. Both excellent light weight but sturdy options. She also has a beach shoe and flip flop.

We now settle down after our flurry of buying and returning sprees. Our itinerary sounds so enticing. So much off the beaten path and such a unique experience to travel in a loosely structured humanitarian based tour. Home stays and cooking classes. Temples and buddhas. History and civilization, life at its core. A painful past that is just that, past, don’t we all got it. Never judge, work hard and always smile! Be thankful for each day. Live it like it’s your last.

So me and my back pack will become close friends. I will grow stronger by the day and maybe shed a few lbs equal to my new load. 🤣🤗😮‍💨. All shots are in arms and we have our 90 days of malaria pills. The travel clinic suggested it. Enjoying the last load of laundry in wash and dry mode. What a lazy society and so lucky. Heading out for Seattle Monday for a quick early flight out the next day. Fly to S Korea and then 5hr flight to Ho Chi Minh. Enjoy the pics and posts coming.

Living as Hard as we can…Two Travelin’ Chicas

It’s sometimes hard to slow down and take time to organize my thoughts. We have now been on the road for almost 4 months, not including our 2 years of vanlife. We have visited Ireland, Scotland, Portugal mainland from Sintra to the Algarve Coast, Madeira Island, San Miguel Island in the Azores, Germany, Austria and Spain. We are currently on our way to wrap up our Schengen EU Visa in Dubrovnik, Croatia. From there moving down into Montenegro for at least a month, which used to be Yugoslavia until 1991. From there who knows where?

It sometimes feels like we’ve been gone for so long, and at times I want it to just stop and go “home”, but where is that? My heart is filled with gladness, my mind filled with curiosity. There is just so much of the world to explore. I must admit, at times, we have to pass up some countries we’d love to explore due to many different reasons, both political and uneasy feelings about traveling there as two women. We are playing it on the side of caution when if we were younger, we might throw that same caution to the wind.

Does that mean that we are older and wiser? Life is more precious? Probably…

In the last 2 years, we have been taught a lesson in the value of living life as if it were your last day on earth. I tear up just thinking of family members lost too soon and those that lived out their lives to the fullest and just came to the end of life’s road, including my grandmother and our faithful corgi, Gandaulf. It is part of our motivation to do all we can while we are healthy and able to.

Another motivating force is the all encompassing world of climate change. Since we’ve been retired and living in the world as nomads, living with and off the land around us, we have seen the changes first hand. Coastal flooding, unbearable heat and harsh winters. Storms off the charts. It seems that every year we are breaking records of all types, rain, heat, hurricanes, snowfall, wild fires, ocean temps rising, and drought, to name a few. Perhaps it is the way the earth is trying to wipe us off like a festering tick sucking the life blood out of her? It is everywhere and my heart is saddened to think it may be too late to reverse. Perhaps it is just the way it is going to be and we all will pay dearly in the end. In the meantime, here we are off on another adventure to see all we can before it is gone. We are doing all we can to reduce our carbon footprint, but we are just a minuscule part.

Day Two Ireland: Blarney

It’s been a good day except for the 2 hours of driving. The countryside is gorgeous. The famous rock walls are now covered in a thick coat of green.

The roads are narrow and the means to an end if you want to see the small towns and castle/church ruins dotting the landscape.

Our choice of a van, the same size as our old van, was a good one at the time. Our driving skills are good but to combine the small rural roads, driving on the side of the road unfamiliar to us, a right hand drive and a stick shift, and we are like fish out of water.

Ireland!

We made it! It seemed like a long haul. It’s not been a very good one for me so far. I managed to get the stomach bug going around and allowed myself to get dehydrated bad! I guess with the jet lag and brain fog, I didn’t put two and two together. Fever, the runs and three red eye flights don’t work well together.

The van we picked up has been used hard! Coming out of The Turtle, this will take a bit of getting used to. First off, she’s a right hand drive and a stick shift. We drive on the other side of the road than we are used to so everything just seems a bit backwards.

Last night was our first full night sleep in the van. We went to bed, exhausted and exasperated, at 9:30 and didn’t stir until noon. Check out was at noon but no one came around to kick us out. It took a bit to get our bearings and I was trying desperately to convince myself I was well.

The first thing that became apparent was the WiFi we rented doesn’t work. Now we don’t know about the stove or hot water. The WiFi was to be our guidance for point A to point B. There are round-a-bouts everywhere and it’s hard to know ahead of time where to exit out, plus you have to remember to go in to the left, not right as we are used to. We almost pulled out in front of a delivery truck because we naturally look left. Here we turn right, stay left and look both ways.

We ended the day in a pub called Matt the Miller, a quaint little pub on the corner of the block on the waterfront. They have 3 pages dedicated to whiskeys alone. The burger I ordered was delicious and Chris ordered a pizza. A pint of Kilkenny for me and a Guinness for Chris. Live Irish music and the pubs decor just made for a pleasant end to an otherwise stressful day. Leaving the pub, the Kilkenny Castle was lit up and reflecting on the river. Beautiful. Cheers!

Impermanence…a personal commentary

What is the one constant in everyone’s life? No matter black, white, brown, or green…no matter if you live comfortably with means, or are barely scraping by…no matter if you live north, south, east or west…animal, insect, plant or human, impermanence is at play in your life.

Over the last year, our lives have been greatly impacted by this often times unwelcome part of the life cycle. Everyday things change. Our likes and dislikes, our health, plants bloom and die, trees loose leaves, even as simple as outgrowing our favorite outfit, everything is in a constant state of living and dying…change. We live our lives as if we have a life-time of living to be had, fall through each day as if there will surely be another. Will there be? Are you sure?

In my Buddhist practice, my teachers and their teachers and right on back to the Buddha, have always talked about impermanence. Nothing is without change. It is not only about a physical human death, even that is not permanent, but more about the constant flux that is a naturally occurring part of everything, living and dead. Humans are the worst at accepting this phenomenon. We try hard to make sure things are as we like them, to be sure we are always comfortable. We diet to stay the same weight, facelifts to prevent the inevitable force of gravity, even engage in risky behaviors to slow the aging process. Western medicine is all about treating the diseased so that death can be cheated. We never even think about death. To speak of our death is considered taboo, macabre, not something accepted in a “normal” daily conversation.

I know that the hardest part of accepting death, is to realize that death is not the end, not a permanent condition. Yes, our physicality comes to an end, but there is so much more to all living things that just a failing vessel of blood and organs, all things are made of the most basic of matter, water and carbon, formed into a structure that can resemble many different things, from a tree to a worm, yes and the human body. The essence of which is held together by energy. This energy is universal, it exists in the chair you’re sitting on, the flowers blooming in the spring, and even the ancient old growth forests rotting on the forest floors.

OK, so you may be thinking, how do I stop or slow change? How can I accept something, death for example, that seems so final…so permanent? What happens to that life force when the vessel dies? Religions have been trying to pacify the panic and mourning that goes along with death with the promise of heaven and hell. Alchemist have been trying to find the secret of eternal youth since the beginning of time. No matter, impermanence is just a universal condition to be accepted and worked through on a daily basis. If you knew you were gonna die tomorrow, would you do anything in your power to stave off this inevitability? You are not alone. Why not live everyday as if it were your last?

If I told you that to slow, maybe even end the violence in the world, the pestilence, the hate, anger, and all the “man-made” destruction of the planet, all we have to do is live each day as if it were a gift, treat each other with kindness, show unconditional love and acceptance to our fellow human beings and stop harming even the smallest of insects, would you at least try? It is so much easier to find fault, to feel the anger and act without thinking, to pass judgement and spread gossip, to continue to pollute rivers and oceans as if they were an endless resource. To avoid change at all costs. What if we all just gave it a little effort? What if everything you said to someone, stranger or friend, ally or foe, went through three gates first. Is it true? Is it necessary? The hardest one, is it kind? What if you smiled at a stranger, held the door for someone, didn’t honk and yell at the driver you feel is being crazy or stupid. Could you make a pact to do one kind thing for someone or something everyday? Could we each start a pay it forward society just by one kind act? What if it were really that simple?

The world is suffering, we all are dying everyday, tomorrow is not for certain. Every where Chris and I go, we bring love and light into someone’s darkness, whether we know that person or not. We are not alone. It is never too late but it does take an army to move an anthill these days. I implore you to at least try, how can it hurt? We can’t stop change but we can influence it with just a few random kindnesses.

Try Not to Panic

Life right now…well it is a whirlwind of activity. Between the scheduled visits with family and friends, planning the nuances of our upcoming travel, and many trial packs, we are just trying to stay ahead of the flurry…trying not to panic.

The first leg of our trip will be spent outside of the Schengen countries to afford us more time experiencing Europe. I keep getting reminded that the last time I was in Europe was almost 40 years ago, and things have changed. I have changed, therefore, my impressions may have as well. I know this as a true fact of observation and learning, but will I actually be able to “see” things differently than what is burned into my brain? See things through a different set of eyes?

Our journey will start with a 2 week, unscripted drive around Ireland. So much myth and history encompasses this little green country. The lush rolling hill, bogs and majestic cliffs, all laid out before us and passing by under the wheels of our rented camper van. https://indiecampers.ie/campervan-hire/dublin/dublin/nomad/offer.

Nomad Camper Van

The van is pretty similar to our old camper van, so we should be pretty at home while exploring the emerald isle. There is so much to see, ancient castles and small quaint hamlets, history written in stone and folk lore. The island namesake itself, is that of an Irish Gaelic Goddess. Because much of Ireland’s myths and folklores were transcribed in early mid-evil times by Christian scribes, many stories are depicting kings, queens, magicians and saints, when in actuality, these figures were originally depicted as gods, goddesses, heroes and healers, brave warriors and warrioress. As in much folklore and creation stories, these deities were often depicted asa living in or coming from The Otherworld.

Neolithic Spires

Aside from myths and lore, the isle also is renowned for fishing and golf. Two sports, I was always told, cannot exist together. The temperate climate and bountiful rain, creates a lush landscape. Ireland’s name itself is also said to mean isle of rivers or flowing water. In either case, the lush golf courses are world class as is the fishing. Ireland experiences seasonal migrations of ocean white trout, salmon and an indigenous population of native brown trout. Today the isle boasts over 300 golf courses and 148 fishable rivers containing salmon, trout and pike. Of course Chris is looking forward to fishing any and all rivers we come across.

We are planning to use this wonderful isle as our jumping off point. To unwind and reconnect with nature and the world outside of our own; to mingle with the people and customs of their homeland; to experience and enjoy a new culture and take-in the beauty surrounding us; and to make this our home for the short time we visit.

A Small Tear on my Heart

It’s been a month since we said farewell to Gandaulf. I still have moments in the day when my eyes fill with tears and the words get stuck in throat. Times when all I want is to feel his thick, soft fur between my fingers, and smell his musky odor. At night I swear sometimes he is still there at the bottom of the bed snoring. Of course I sit with the feelings, let the tears fall and, like the clouds in a blue sky, it passes and I am left in the present moment…to move on.

Playing in the water was a favorite past time

We continue to sell off all our possessions and donated 4 big boxes of women’s clothing to the women’s shelter and odds and ends to the DI. Our shed is becoming more and more vacant everyday. Getting rid of “stuff” is fun, freeing and terrifying all at the same time. What I want to get rid of, Chris thinks we might need someday and sometime visa versa. No matter we settle and the item stays or goes and we move on to the next.

We have started our trial packs. It takes almost as many clothes to be gone for a week long vacation as it does to pack for a year. Save a nice outfit for the occasional fancy dinner or cafe hopping, a few more necessities for hiking or swimming, and an extra pair of shoes…they make a thing called a washer and dryer, so…just like at home, you still need to stop for a domestic goddess day.

The farewells continue almost daily. I have hooked up with some healers that are concocting some plant medicines for me to continue my journey of good mental health and a balance of mind and body. It’s been almost six months since I went cold turkey on anti-depressants and entered the world of good, wholesome plant based medicines. The journey has had its ups and downs, but I am a whole new person, not better, just changed and more energized and grounded.

Between this change and my spiritual endeavors, I have broken through the ancient fortress built around my heart and mind, and found a strong, safe foundation to build a new life on. Yes I have many small tears left on my heart, but I am free from this old baggage and free to build a new adventure in loving kindness and peace.