And today you seek refuge
In the vastness of this time and space
The longing for enlightenment
The end of a samsaric existence
To be a champion for those
Lost in the darkness of the matrix of life
An endless cycle
Refuge in the jewels
Refuge in the way
The middle ground
Today you seek
Not for an answer but an awakening
To open the heart mind to a deep feeling
To release the bondage
Of the monkey mind
The closed off heart
To become selfless and kind
Today you seek
Tag: meditation
mindfullness
I pick each stone, a siren in color or shape calling to be placed: for the West first pointing to the oceans, rolling waters, here, one for the earth; for the South that hot ball of fire now shadowed by the trees and mountains; then the North the bone strength of clarity, a stone for the great emptiness of Sky; and for the East illumination and new beginnings.
I step gingerly into the middle of the mandala. In my right hand two small rounded shiny black pebbles. I rattle these precious stones of the mother earth in prayer, not for a vision, not for words or guidance. I rattle to rattle, to remember my place in all things.
I shake my palm listening to the rhythm of sound to know this moment…and … then gratitude arises like a wave, I give thanks to the blessings of being in love, and the delight of living my life in this unfolding expression.
I sometimes forget the power of ancestors and community to heal. And to give thanks.
We live in a field of connection in which we are the inheritors of grace and strength passed on from one person to the next one generation to the next.
What does it feel like to be alone?
In the wilderness, it’s being the only two humans around. Nothing but the sound of your heart beat in the silence. Your breath. Then the wind far off as it rushes through the willows and the trees that line the river in a wave until it reaches me. The green turns to silver as it brushes over the tops of the willows and grasses. The smooth surface of the water becomes disturbed and shivers as the wind touches it. A fish jumps. A shrill chirp of a bird. The sound of the air cut by the wing of a passing bird. The sound of the hollow rattle of the wood pecker. To be able hear your thoughts and watch them pass as they find no ground in your quiet still mind. Chris stands still out among the elusive trout in the river. Her line shimmers in the early morning sun light. Gandaulf sits…barely tall enough to be seen waiting for her to catch a fish.
To be alone is not to be lonely but to become one with all that lives and breathes around you without having to say a word. You, inside your own self yet cognitively aware of all that’s around you. To be separate from the thoughts of others…not influenced, you, yourself. Lack of stress. Living in the moment. Allowing a silent tear when you think of the others you love and how they suffer. Alone with the vibration of all that’s around you.
Alone at 9400 ft. Amazing, peaceful, alarming, silent yet very loud, small, powerful, beauty beyond words only felt. Clear air, clean water, bright sunshine, starry skies, incredible moon! Timeless, unstructured, fun, meditative, no cell phone, internet, Pandora, XM, only the song that rattles around in your head all day – the mantra. FULL! JA
An Awakening…
The Tribe has Gathered
The stirring ceases
The mind clears
The thoughts drift away
We sit as one tribe
The moment we all sit silent
I can hear my heart beat
The tiny birds in the canyon
Crows talking above
The wind in the rocks
The incense burningQ
We meet as one
Each in their power
The silence brings tears to my unfocused eyes
I drift off…
I am Alex the protector
The strong warrior
The wild child
I seek instant gratification
I would fight to the end for the Tribe
I am LJ the broken hearted
I feel the tribes pain as my own
My tears are your tears
This world is beautiful
And I am home here
This world speaks to me
It listens to me
The animals are my friends
I am Aubrey the lost one
I am scared
This world is big
I miss my new friends
I only want a hug
I am Otter the Empath and Healer
I am bodhichitta
I am shaman
I have a heart of love and compassion
This is my world
I walk with the tribe
Into the unknown
And comfort the fear
The universe is my father
The earth my mother
I am most powerful
I am Butch the two spirited
I have the energy of love
Misdirected at times
I am the jester
I bring overwhelming love to my new tribe
I need direction
I am Zak the Poet
I hear the thoughts
I am the scribe
The record keeper
The story teller
I am powerful yet equal to the tribe
I hold wisdom and knowledge of the ancients
Together we live in this vessel
This mind, heart and soul
Together we are one united
A balanced driving force
Individual we loose the focus
I return to my soft stare
The wind cools my body from the heat of the sun
My mind calm
My body relaxed
Good day world
ja 2020
Emptiness
The sound of the river rushing by in constant flow
The towering cliffs stand tall and hard against the deep blue sky
Carved by this liquid snake over eons of time
The trees stand and watch the the endless motion of this fluid architect
Gently the bubbles make their way down the current
Rocks hold to their purchase of land against the rivers flow
Others roll along without putting up a fight
My mind is sucked into the current… empty… constantly fluid… clinging to nothing
Awakening of the Heart
My heart has been chained
Whipped and beaten
Broken and bruised
Someone always feels
I don’t get to choose who
I can feel deeply
“But it’s not allowed”
They scream
I try not to listen
A touch
Not physical
But energy flowing
One to another
A mingling of souls
A melting of hearts
From a distance
But mingling in spirit
Wordless pause
The ache
The release
Tears
Heartbreak
Feeling strong
Yet vulnerable
And the love
Overwhelming
An awakening
Of the heart
Now You Will Listen
And the hand of the creator fell upon the earth
With a calm loving voice
I have asked you to care for what I’ve given you
I have warned you about exploiting the Mother Earth
I have sent warnings and yet you continue to rape her
I have asked you in a gentle way
To protect the waters
And yet you continue to poison them with your waste
I have requested you
To comfort the animals of my planet
And yet you still kill and plunder for sport
I have implored you to protect the skies…the very air you breathe
And yet you continue to pump tons of pollutants into your own life force
I am tired of asking…
Now you will listen
As I blanket the earth and all human occupants with this plague
Now you will listen
But not not by choice
Now I will bring you to your knees
I will rob you of the precious life I have given you
I will take away your freedoms you hold so dear
I will throw you into silence and isolation that your fear will force you to Up hold
Now it is your lives I pollute
I pillage and I steal from you
Now you will listen
Continue
In a dream, the most intense dream I’ve had in some time, I saw Happiness and Serenity waiting at the crossroads. I walked up and questioned each.
I first questioned Happiness. How can one experience all you have to offer?
Happiness smiled and replied… First one must relinquish their clinging to the past… second one must surrender their negativity… third, one must listen to the joy that exists within, that which no one can take from you.
I pondered the advice and turned to Serenity and asked the same. How can one find serenity?
Serenity replied in a soft assuring voice… one must learn to let go of that which doesn’t serve them… to become vulnerable… one must sit with oneself and dig deep to find forgiveness.
Again, I pondered the words spoken.
I sat at the crossroad… quietly contemplating the meaning of each response to my longing for both.
Tears of anger became tears of forgiveness
Thoughts of self-destruction… became thoughts of peace and love
Feelings of helplessness and deep sadness, became feelings of joy and faith.
My mind reeled
My heart wept silently as it slowly melted
I retreated deeply
I spoke gently to the tribe
As much as I am grateful to each of you
Each of you allowed me to survive
Each of you have your place
Each of you is loved
Each of you has lived through unspeakable horrors
I am not giving up on you, I am grateful for each of you… but it is time for us all to heal
Life is too short and too precious
Today I must make a choice for all of us
Today I must begin to give up behavior that is not conducive to our health… to turn away from that which has become comfortable and take a chance
Today I must dig deep and allow myself, all of us, to become vulnerable and become brave.
To forgive those which I despise with conviction
To live in the warm glow of love and compassion
To shed the tears of cleansing.
Today I stand at the crossroad of life… my life. A choice needs to be made.
J
Isolation
The great shaman came to the tribe
It is a grave message that I speak this day
A famine has come to the world
A famine of unprecedented fury
It steals the very air we breathe
It brings suffering to all it touches
It overwhelms whole societies
We all must pray
Ask guidance
We all must listen, watch and learn
It is prophesied thru the ages
The tribe listened intently
The women wept tears that flowed into streams and lakes
The men, broken-hearted,
Lowered their heads in grief
And the clouds covered the sun
The children cried out and the birds stopped their song
The mountains trembled
The wind blew with fury
Today the healing must begin
Today we learn to be isolated
To live with our selves
To attack this with all the love of a mother for her child
To hold our selves closely and protect our hearts
Today we must open our eyes to reality
We must believe with all our souls we will survive
We must start this day to pay attention
Pay attention or pay the price
A Child’s Story…
Once upon a time. In a far away land. A land of magic and whimsy. Where dragons fly threw the sky. Animals of the forest, rivers and seas all had voices and stories
One day Otter came upon a small human child. What was a human child doing in the forest she thought. Otter took the child and ran off to the wise old owl. The owl told Otter that she had the motherly instinct and human children need to play and she should take the child as her own.
One day an evil witch came to the forest and saw the child. A rage came over the witch and she took the child from Otter and began to consume her piece by piece. The animals of the forest, rivers and sea saw what was happening and summoned up all their mental powers and caused the witch to turn to stone. The final words the witch uttered was a curse that would haunt the child for the rest of her life.
None of the animals could come up with a solution and the child was plagued with dreams and hallucinations that would throw her into fits. Finally one day she broke into a hundred pieces and scattered on the ground. The animals were unable to save her and they all mourned the loss of this sweet young innocent child.
A hawk flying overhead saw the pieces and heard the sad thoughts and flew off to the vast desert where he found the elephant. The wise old elephant heard the story and contemplated his answer carefully. What seemed like an eternity passed then elephant spoke up and said one word LOVE.
You must all get together and work together with each of your powers and surround this child with all your love. There is strength and great power in love but you must believe with all your heart you can do this. One of you will have to give the ultimate sacrifice of your own life for this child needs a heart. The witch stole her heart and left her filled with echos and torments…horrors no child should endure.
The hawk flew back to the tribe and told them what the elephant had seen in his vision and how they could bring the child back and break the spell. But one of you must give your life to show your love and give your heart to this child. Her heart was stolen by the witch and she will remain tormented without a new loving heart.
Otter stepped up without thought, compelled by her deep love for this child. I have felt the deep sorrow of this child, I have comforted her fears at night and sat with her when she was not well. My heart is already with her. At that point Otter plunged a knife deep into her chest and took out her heart and blessed the child and died.
All the animals of the forest, rivers and seas saw the compassion of the Otter, all put the pieces of the child and the heart of the Otter and formed a tight circle and began to hum.
A whirlwind picked up the pieces and carried them into the sky. The animals continued their vigilance and continued to pour out all the compassion and love they held.
Days later a sleeping child appeared back in the forest as the animals slept. She walked to each and entered their dreams. She told each of them that it was the love and compassion that freed her from this spell. She owed them each her life. The noise and echos, the horrors and nightmares had vanished. In her beat the heart of the Otter and she would learn to nurture herself as Otter did. This would be her promise for the life given.
