Category: dreams
Today I walk alone
I hear you rustling under the covers and I turn to feel your wet nose tap my warm nose, time to get up. You wiggle with glee when I sit up, almost unable to contain your joy. As if to say, yea my humans are up! I wipe the tiredness from my eyes and stretch to greet the day. It’s only 7:20 and already you want to play but more pressing, only after you eat. You pick up your plastic bowl, full of teeth marks from other reminders and demands of feeding. I smile as you stare deeply into my eyes, head turning from side to side, as if you are trying to pick my good side. I laugh again, and pull out your bag of kibble and you begin to twirl like a dervish, only you are fixated on the food filling your bowl. As I pick up the bowl, you whirl and twirl and roll over. Tiny taps fill the room as your claws struggle for a purchase on the slick hard wood. I set the bowl down, and like a ravenous beast you gobble down every kibble, inhaled as if it were your last meal. I go about making myself some hot coffee then settle back into my overstuffed armchair. The sun has begun to shine through the stained glass window, as it does every morning, casting a showy barrage of colors throughout the room. It’s my favorite time of day.


Not long after I’m done my coffee, I look around to find you again, curled up on your small bed, satiated from your morning meal. As soon as I stand, you’re at my feet again, signaling with your head that it’s time for your walk. I glance out the window at the day unfolding, decide on my favorite faded jeans, my raggedy old sweatshirt and my favorite hightop converse. This should do for the chill of the early fall morning, I think to myself. I dress myself and slide over to the door where you are patiently waiting, leash in tow, your entire backend wagging from side to side. Again, the tiny taps of your claws on the hardwood, but this time the metallic clink of your tags fills my ears. I feel a lump begin to form in my throat. I reach down and hear the click as I fasten the leash to your collar. I fight back a tear as I open the door, blinded by the low angle of the morning sun. The cool crisp air greets me and snaps me from my vision. I look down at my hands, holding an empty leash. I spin around and look at the full bowl of kibble sitting on the floor. I stand in the doorway, the room is silent, awash with colors, but silent and empty.

It’s been over a year since you’ve been gone. I still live some days this way. The routine we had for over 13 years. I still hear the sounds I will always associate with you. I am still haunted by your smell, your wet nose on mine. It’s like I’ve been frozen in time, a loop I’m unable to exit from. I wipe back the tears that have now filled my eyes, blurring the room into a kaleidoscope of undefined colors. My heart beats slow and my breath measured. I place the leash back on its hook and close the door. Today I walk alone.

Universal Being
As we drive down the long,
lonely, thin road…
My gaze transfixed on the horizon.
Eyes gazing at all before me
The golds of the aspen
The blood orange of alder
The reds of the fireweed
Accented against the tall green conifers
Making a patchwork quilt of the mountain sides.
The beauty is palpable
My heart leaps with joy
My mind solidly fixed in the emptiness of this vast land
The turquoise and aqua green braids of water
Glacier milk
Green rivers
Cool clear streams
Shimmering lakes
The pulsing life blood…water.
The glaciers hold still and fast to the craggy folds
Slowly receding back into the hollow canyons.
The icy blue fingers relenquishing their grip.
Water cascading down
Wisps of white showers
Pooling and spilling over the deep crevasses cut into solid stone.
The roar deafening.
A cahcaufony of sounds
The shrill chatters of the squirrel
Titter of the titmouse
Squawk of grey jays
Call of the raven
Piercing cry of the eagle
Whisper of the wind
Rush of the stream.
The sun…
streaming down from the most stunning blue sky.
Warming
Inviting
Soothing
Clouds hanging free
Heavy black
Wispy white
Outlined in gold and chartreuse as the sun exits and night slips in behind.
Hews of purple
blue and green
paint the sky
A vast inky black sky
awash with stars
Galaxies
Nebulas
Planets
Endlessness.
I drift off to sleep
Part of this natural world
Part of the intricacy of life
A Myriad of Emotions
We’ve just returned from an amazing Canada/Alaska River trip down the Tatshashini and Alsek Rivers, down into Alsek Lake and take out at Dry Bay. The whole trip took 13 days plus travel time of another 13 days to Haines, Alaska.

Although the river trip was not on our bucket list, traveling around western Canada and Alaska was. The river trip became the catalyst for this new chapter in our adventure.

As we sat in Bali, melting from the oppressive humidity, we realized our travel in the blazing sun, and blazing kindness of its people, needed to come to an end. We had covered much of SE Asia in a 4 month period: countries like Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Korea, Indonesia, and Malaysia. It was an other-worldly experience, and touched both of us deeply…but our bodies were screaming for a break from the heat.

We found ourselves thinking of very cold places, Antarctica, Iceland, Alaska, Patagonia. Big dreams of cooler temps, zero humidity, even some of our old haunts just didn’t excite us. When Chris saw the Facebook post from Bio-Bio River Expeditions, for a trip down the beautiful Tatshashini/Alsek Rivers. Pictures of rafts floating around stunning blue icebergs grabbed both of us by our sweaty hands and led us down the rabbit hole. This was it!

So we set off on planning to see if we could make this happen. We picked up a Sprinter Revel Van, outfitted it for the arduous trip, bought the necessary clothing and secured a seat for us on the trip.

The drama began with seeing the expensive nature of this undertaking. We bought the van because renting a van or RV was exorbitant. Then came my tummy health issue, then the breakdown of the van as we set out. We made it to Skagway, caught the ferry to Haines and settled in a few days before the trip and one more hiccup, Chris broke her tooth and needed an emergency appointment with the only dentist in town. All that was now water under the bridge, no pun intended, as we suited up in supplied dry suits and met our group.


The next morning was glorious, sun shinning, smiles all around. An amazing feeling of joy and a bit of trepidation hit me as we stood on the river bank, red dry tops, blue dry pants and insulated black and brown mud boots, red life jackets cinched up tight. Within an hour or so, we came to our first splashy wave trains, one finding its way into my dry suit, chilling me and reminding me to hold on.


Camp was always beautiful and we scrabbled to find a level, clear area for our tents. After a few days, the tents became a pain in the ass! They were short and squatty, making entering and exiting very difficult without crawling on hands and knees across wet, rocky ground. The sleeping bags were warm and cozy…bonus!

There is just so much running through my mind when I think of the days on the river itself. Once in a while we were asked to paddle, sometimes to help propel the rafts, other times just to stave off the cold chills of the cold rain and biting winds blowing downstream. We all looked like a blue rubber basket of Easter eggs, as we curled up in tight balls to conserve heat. Some days presented with sun and a promise of grand vistas and windless travel. These days would take your breath away as around each river bend, new wonders appeared. It was somewhat difficult to figure out how to layer under the dry suits, but no matter when we left shore, dressed like small children going out to make snowmen, we soon were adding or removing layers…from hot to cold and back to hot if you were lucky, but little in between.

Camp life was usually pleasant, except when the mosquitoes would swarm. The weekend before we arrived at Purple Haze camp, there had been 6” of rain in a 24 hour period, probably why we had wind and rain further upstream. This rain awakened the veracious insects. Black flies and mosquitos topped the ticket. These tiny, or not so tiny in the case of some mosquitoes, will drive you mad! We were lucky that only a few camps seemed to be utterly infested with the biting menaces, and happy they were only one night stays. Everyone adorned head-nets and deet was the preferred perfume of the evenings meal. Dessert was passed on as we all ran for the shelter of our squatty little tents and played the game of smash the rouge mosquito that found its way into the tent, it only takes one of these little bastards to drive you batty.


Alaska has its beauty and also is a harsh environment. It is not for the faint of heart. True Alaskan wilderness is not forgiving and should be entered with caution and care. On the last day, we found out that our pilot had gone missing with 2 others the day before. Due to the search, no plane was coming to get us. These were seasoned veterans of this Alaska wilderness and its small communities that depended on their services. Tragedy and grief is not an emotion I thought I’d experience on this trip.


I can’t tell you if I was ready for the myriad of emotions I went through but in the end…it was an experience of a lifetime and one that will be remembered. Alaska is wild, natural, stunningly beautiful, incredibly demanding and deadly.

Knob Island: Last Camp
We’ve reached the end of our journey…Alsek lake. As we awoke yesterday morning, we busily broke camp, had breakfast and shoved off around 10:30am. We were glad to be out of “Purple Haze” camp due to the swarms of veracious mosquitoes that drove everybody mad. Dinner was a disaster! Dessert sat un-eaten as we all took refuge in our tents.


The sun broke out, in all its glory, the next morning and we all changed out of our layers and put on shorts and tank tops, for about 2 hours we soaked up the sun and stared at the ice capped mountains surrounding camp once again. 360 degrees of the most serene beauty one could imagine. Just when you think it can’t get any more stunning, the bar gets raised.


In the beginning of our trip, we encountered small burgie-bits. We had finally found glaciers! It was called Walker Glacier but you can no longer walk to or on it since it has receded and left a huge lake of little icebergs and a lot of tangled trees and muck, sticky, gooey muck. But today we’ve hit the mother load…Alsek Lake!


We spent all day watching the icebergs roll and calve. We even got to row the rafts around the icebergs floating in the bay. These things were massive and apparently can roll without notice. The tops that were exposed most of the time was the bluest blue you can imagine. As the sun shined through they would glow like a blue sapphire. The ones that rolled usually expose a rocky grey muddy bottom that has been dragged through the bottom of the lake.


A glacier is an amazing thing. It can be blue or grey or white. Usually are thick and fill a deep crevice at the top of the mountains. Some come all the way down to the lakes and rivers; others have receded high into the mountain valley and formed formidable cliffs of ice.

The lake was in constant motion and we watched the icebergs as they journeyed their way, crashing into one another, creating deep thunderous scrapping sounds. It was quite eerie. Had the lake in front of our camp not been clogged with heavy berges, the waves set off by the turning and crashing into each other could have swamped the camp. Huge piles of logs marked the high water line, and we were told to set our tents up above the debris line.



Our last morning, we woke up to a thick layer of fog for our 4am wake up. We hurried to get out of camp and to Dry Bay for our flight extraction from there to Yukatat. We floated for about 2 hours in the fog with visibility under 50’. Arriving we disassemble the three rafts and broke down all the gear. A family with ATVs and trailers came to picked up the colorful piles of dry bags and coolers, paddles and oar frames.




We all hurried about up and down the rocky beach, carrying whatever we could carry. Then hopped on the trailer and were taken to the airport, a gravel runway between a clearing of alders.

Arriving at the bush airport, we were told that the pilot that was coming to get us and his wife went out with a friend in his plane and had gone missing. Our pilot was not going to be able to pick us up nor was anyone else in the small village of Dry Bay. All pilots were running search and rescue.

So here we sit at the bush pilot airport. We will probably miss our flight to Juneau tonight.
Alaska
I hear an eagles shrill cry
I look up and see…
Hanging there in the azure blue sky,
The silhouette of this massive bird gliding effortlessly…
Climbing ever higher on the warm thermal currents.
I close my eyes tightly.
I enter a dream where
I see through his eyes the massive ribbons of chalky water, coursing through the stoney river corridors.
I look up into the heavens
Following the outline of the massive jagged mountains that cut the sky.
Thick grey clouds cling to the peeks, draping over the ridges like a blanket.
Suddenly, like an angel from heaven, the sun bursts through the clouds in brilliant shards of light…
Electrifying the mountain side and deep shades of verdant green making the veins of snow glisten like tinsel on a Christmas tree.
As the eagle comes to rest on a tall tree, I can see through X-ray like eyes.
Huge salmon coursing upstream on a death march to spawn.
Huge black and brown bears sitting in the river, look like children bobbing for apples, filling their bellies with these suicidal fish.
I can feel the strength of the eagle as he spreads his wings and flexes his talons then release…
Falling,
Falling,
Falling,
Radar like precision.
Attack…
Enter the water…
Grab,
Recover.
The fish now thrashing in the grip of his talons.
Rising,
Rising,
high into the trees.
I smile.
Satisfaction…
I open my eyes to all the wonders I see, and dream of those I cannot… and beyond that… all is left to the imagination.
Great Northern Rockies: Ravens and Bison and Bears…OH My…
We packed up camp this morning, everything was still damp from the previous days storms. It seems to rain a lot here. Last night, we camped near some natural hot springs. Laird hot springs was once a respite for the workers back in the 1940’s, building the Alaskan/Canada Highway, or ALCAN for short. The ALCAN took 9 months to build and was built by the US to service troops in Alaska during WW2. These natural hot springs flow into a beautiful river mixing to a perfect temperature. There’s a long half mile boardwalk to get to the springs, that crosses some swampy areas choked with peat and thick patches of lichen. The trees are sparse and mostly just tall skeletons, poisoned and bleached white by the sulphur and minerals leached from the hot springs.



After a good soak, we drove to the overflow camping lot and picked a spot. The campground had just filled up when we arrived, figures, and we were sold a spot in the overflow lot across the street from the official campground. Basically it was a big gravel parking lot with an outhouse and a fence. We settled in and slept well.




Throughout our trip thus far, we have encountered a myriad of animals. There is an abundance of black bears. It has become a norm to see at least one black bear grazing on the fresh green grasses on the wide swaths of treeless area between dense forest and Highway. We have also seen stone sheep, timber bison, a porcupine, huge black ravens and the normal rabbits and ground squirrels when we venture down a side road.



We ventured down a gravel road to see the beautiful Smith Creek Falls. It was such a beautiful sight, we decided to set up our chairs and sit by the edge of the cliff to finish our morning coffee. The sun was popping in and out of the cloud filled sky, a light breeze blowing and the thunderous sound of the immense falls all made for a devine spot to stop. We had just settled in when suddenly Chris says, in a low steady voice, “Bear…” Let me tell you the fear that grips you when you hear that word. My stomach instantly tensed up, a rush of adrenaline, we stood up, bear spray in hand, and started walking slowly, yelling and waving our arms as we headed for the van. The bear saw us and turned and ran back into the thick trees and shrubs as fast as we ran to the van. I must say that bear spray is now within constant reach and always on us when we go anywhere outside.



The landscape has changed again. We’ve been following the path of a wide river as it carves its way between towering peaks. The water takes in a milky white color as new rivers rush from high glaciers down into the swollen river basin. As it meanders along, the sun turns it the most beautiful pale blue as if the sky had just poured itself into the river. It’s not hard to see the powerful force that this water has, with huge trees, roots and all lying about, stranded on huge piles of boulders the size of a small car. Don’t be fooled by its tranquil appearance. At times, this river is a torrent of icy froth and foam, seething and grabbing whatever finds its way into its banks and tossing it like a toy. Amazing and deadly in one package.

Back on home turf…let a new journey begin
It’s been a month since we flew from Singapore back to Salt Lake City, UT, our home state, and it seems like we are finally getting a routine back into our lives. We pet/house sit for a week or so, then spend time in the van, then another pet/house sit, then back into the van and back into the desert for some silence. I am afraid this is as routine as it will get. It seems that Chris and I both have restless souls that prefer to wander than to settle down. Traveling allows us to meet and get to know new people on a personal level, one where they are engaged and not simply exchanging niceties.

The last two days have been a bit overcast and rainy. This made for a fun few days in the desert. It is this life giving rain that brings the deserts into bloom and, at the same time, turns the roads into a slick slurry of mud and sticky clay. After a night of downpours, we decided it wise to retreat from the back country and find some provisions and refill the water tank. The ride out was a nail biter but the 4X4 helped out. The slick mud and clay sticking to every inch of the van.



In a harsh environment, such as the desert, any rain that makes it to the ground is a godsend. Before the storm set in, the sky was full of brilliant white towering clouds with grey bottoms, being heavy laden with water. Below these beautiful floating vapor wonders, hang wispy sheets of rain that dissipate hundreds of feet from the ground, never a drop reaching the earth, this is called virga.

This strange but beautiful event occurs when the air is too hot and dry for the rain to hit the ground, it also can create dangerous down burst winds. These winds often show themselves as dust devils, columns of dust, sand and dirt that swirl hundreds of feet into the air like an invisible tornado starting from the ground up. It’s an amazing sight to witness and unforgiving if one is caught near one of these devils. They will hit a car and try to push it off the road, fill a tent and sleeping bag full of sand and send trash and debris flying hundreds of feet into the air, as if they were ballerinas preparing for a dervish dance.


Traveling, as we do, is not for everyone. Some people like the comforts of four walls, TV, and a routine that rarely changes. Traveling is hard, takes a lot of planning and when traveling in a van, some heavy lifting. It can take you way out of your comfort zone or help you find a new one. It is, however for us, rewarding and fulfilling. The people you meet can be precious gemstones, or an obstacle, your choice. We may think we live in the best country in the world, but unless you travel…how would you know?



Canyons and Deserts back Home in Utah
Can I start out by saying that my heart feels full when in the vast deserts of Utah. The grandeur is awe inspiring, the silence, deafening. The sun is warm on you skin in the cloud free azure blue skies that go on forever. The deep canyons, carved by wind, rain and the elements are like a sculpture’s best art. The spiral towers of molten type rock appear to ooze down the cliff faces, getting more narrow till one side meets the other in the depths of its rocky tomb. The great cottonwood and juniper, pinion pine and sage, seek shelter in the shadowy depths. If you sit patiently, you can see the prairie dogs, marmots, squirrels and chipmunks run along the layer of the cliff face. A crow breaks the silence with its caw and the swish of its wings as it shoots past us on the currents. A cool breeze slides along my cheek and gives me a shiver.

It’s our first outing with the new van. It’s a 2023 Winnebago Revel 4×4 on a Mercedes Sprinter chassis capable of traversing any terrain we can find, handling the washboard roads like a luxury vehicle but with the weight of a built out adventure van. The inside is cozy, fitted with all the amenities to keep us comfortable for our travel adventures to come.

Part of getting the new van was learning from our old van, SleepyTurtle. She was a fine build and was perfect for what we needed and especially traveling with Gandaulf, our old corgi. There were a few things missing, as we found out after 2.5 years living full time in her. She was built to withstand the worst rutted roads we found in Montana and Wyoming. She rarely had a rattle. She was built as a fair weather camping rig, without heat or AC, she had an inside composting toilet and an outside shower. There was plenty of counter space, we carried 50 gallons of water and had a ginormous fridge and high output stove, for outside cooking only. She was a great van! Now she and Gandaulf are gone.


Our new van, doesn’t have a name yet, but as we investigate her and outfit her to be home for perhaps the next year, one will come. Maybe some sort of warrior princess or a great explorer name, perhaps a docile creature of the desert or mountains. It will come.
We just finished our first house/pet sit in SLC and have taken a retreat to our favorite place, The Swell in central Utah’s San Rafael Desert. It’s a relatively short drive from SLC and sits at about 6,000 feet in elevation. The Good Water Rim Mountain bike single track trail sits adjacent to our camp. It’s a 6.8 mile trail that skirts the canyon rim and is quite technical although, and an easy ride to get the heart pumping.

Around our primitive camp, the sandy ground is a mauve color with stark greenish black, twisted bark, pinion pine and juniper trees standing against the brilliant blue sky. The layered sandstone revealed by the erosion of the sand, stand like castle walls at the top of an impenetrable hill. There is no sounds outside of the wind, birds and occasional passing vehicle.

It’s an oasis in the mad haste of life in the city. It’s a welcome respite from the last year of traveling in Europe and Asia. It calms the mind, lowers the blood pressure and can suck you away in a hypnotic trance if you sit and don’t think. A perfect spot for a meditation or just to day dream. Not a care in the world or a need to rush. Just silence, beauty and peace.

Balinese Nyepi (New Year)
Again, let me start out by apologizing for not writing in so long. Today we find ourselves in Sanur, Bali. It is our last month in SE Asia. We went back and forth between Bali and The Philippine Islands. We hit 6 Thai Islands and it became increasingly hot and more humid as we went through February. For us, the high humidity and broiling sun was beginning to take a toll. I fully believe in listening to your body, and right now, it is telling me it’s time to stop and settle down for a month or so, somewhere less humid. I’m here to tell you, Bali is not that place. Yet, here we are.

There is really so much more that drives our destination picks. Since we have no real restraints on our time, we look at cultural lessons to learn, spiritual hot spots, beautiful people and good food. Bali checked off all those boxes.

We are here for the month of March. In Bali, the Balinese Hindu celebrate their new year called Nyepi. Unlike how New Year is celebrated around the world, Nyepi means The Day of Silence. It is a day the entire island shuts down, airports, shops, beaches, restaurants, taxis, everything. In extreme cases, WiFi, cell service and electricity. It is meant to be a day of reflection and meditation, without outside worldly interruptions, such as food, drink and even creature comforts of electricity and the internet. It is a day to heal the negative energies from the year before. A day to sit quietly, in deep introspection and fill the negativity with love and compassion. To kindle the desire to be a better person. A day to harness the spiritual self, and heal, not only oneself, but the world around you. What a novel idea…to become self-less and harness the deepest compassion for oneself, others and the world.

The day before Nyepi, the community gathers at dusk for ceremony that spills into the streets. The Ngrupuk parade. A giant papier-mâché monster with fangs, claws, hideous and grotesque, representing all the evil from the previous year, through these mythical demons, called Ogoh-ogoh. The ogoh-ogoh represents purification of the natural environment of any spiritual pollutants emitted from the activities of living beings. At the end of the parade it is usually burned on a beach or in a cemetery to cleanse all that it has absorbed and all it represents. These mythical beast represent eternal energy and eternal time, as taught by the Balinese Hindu teachings. “The imperceptible potentials of nature cannot be thoroughly explored by anyone. Philosophically, civilized men are required to manage the natural resources without damaging the environment itself.” The Ogah-ogoh effigy is turned 3 times at each intersection of the village representing the contact of bodies with the spirits. It is meant to bewilder and confuse any evil spirits so that those spirits go away and stop inflicting human beings and the village.

I am taken back by this whole idea. One that, perhaps if the entire world would practice, there would be more love and understanding towards each other. Perhaps it would kindle a greater desire to help heal the earth. It’s a dream bigger than any I could imagine becoming a reality, sad.
