Awake

The warmth of the sun

Thaws my frozen heart to the splendor of the spring

The birds sing wildly

Searching for a mate

My bare skin…Bronzed from this life giving source

A stirring deep inside

Beckons me to be free

Love returns to my weary soul

A calmness of immense silence settles in

The day has begun

Welcome to my morning

The Child and The Sea Turtle: Luminescence

The sun began to sink below the horizon

“How beautiful,” the child thought

The sky filled with the most wonderful colors…

Pale at first, then growing deeper and more brilliant.

The deep reds and oranges, delighted the child.

She sat down on a smooth branch and began to sing

The song birds of the sky joined in wishing the sun a good night.

Just then a huge turtle appeared at the edge of the lagoon

His shell was dark brown with green edges from age.

His face was the color of the dark green sea

His eyes told stories of ancient oceans and all the miles he’d traveled

The child went over to turtle and touched his leathery skin

She could feel the silence and loneliness of his life

The turtle took his mighty flipper and scooped the child onto his back and lumbered back into the sea

As they floated he told the child stories of the sky, the stars and the moon

The child fell fast asleep and dreamed of the things the turtle said

She dreamed the most marvelous dreams and when she awoke, she couldn’t believe her eyes

The sky had filled with stars, millions and billions of stars as far as she could see.

She then looked deep into the water… at first she couldn’t believe her eyes

The stars, reflecting in the lagoon, seemed to light up as the turtles flipper cut through the water.

She gazed with delight, giggling as the bluish green sparkles lit up the sky reflected in the still water.

Soon the child fell into a trance of swirling luminescence and stars.

The turtle found some seaweed and gently covered the child as she drifted away into the emptiness.

In the morning, the sun greeted the night and dismissed it filling the sky with pinks and purples.

The child awoke from her sleep, nestled in her hammock at the edge of the lagoon.

Her dream had ended and she stretched to greet the day, smiled at the sun and felt thankful for the new day

The Child and The Whale: a Creation Story

One day, a small child was walking along the beach.
She was very sad
So sad, as she walked huge tears fell from her eyes and filled an ocean


The animals of the forest and streams came to see if they could comfort her but they didn’t know what to do
So the child turned towards the ocean and began to walk
She walked and walked until the animals of the forest and streams could see her no longer see her


The child began to see the most wonderful things
There were turtles and fishes, dolphins and whales
She was floating in the ocean
Watching as the colors were illuminated by the sun as it’s splintered light entered the ocean
All at once, the child realized she was running out of air
First the turtle came to see what he could do
But he found his flippers couldn’t hold her up
The turtle swam off to get help
The child began to feel tired and began to drift off
She was dying and she didn’t understand


She tried to breathe but the water filled her lungs
Soon the whale came back with the turtle
They saw the child floating lifeless
They were very sad
The whale drew on his vast knowledge and opened his mouth
He gently scooped up the child and began his journey to the surface
The small child woke up and felt a soft surface in the dark
She snuggled up and began to dream
In her dream she was playing in her favorite field of daisies
The butterflies tickled her nose
As she looked up in her dream to see the sun


The whale opened his mouth
He stuck out his long tongue and watched the small child walk to the beach
She turned around and saw the whale
The animals of the ocean gathered around the whale
There were dolphins and turtles
Whales and fishes
Underwater flying animals with big wings of black and white
There were fishes of all colors and shapes
She giggled as the flying fish performed tricks


The whale softly spoke in whale talk
He thanked the child for creating the ocean with her tears
He told her a secret and the child smiled
Her tears dried and she found peace in her heart

The Child and the Green Buddha

One day while walking alone in the woods a child found a path.

In all her days living in the woods and along the streams,

She had never seen this path before

It shimmered with light that sparkled on the horizon

It looked like diamonds hovering in the most bluish green sky she’d ever seen.

She wandered slowly over to the path,

It was the softest thing beneath her feet she’d ever felt

She explored further and further until all at once,

The path opened up onto the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen

Being from the woods she didn’t know what this soft powder was

She saw a turtle digging in the sand and asked,

“Mr Turtle, what is this soft wonderfully warm ground called?

It’s a wonderful surprise!”

The turtle answered, in a low soft voice, “why it is sand child, have you never been to the sea?”

With glee the child took a deep breath and smelled the most delicious air ever

“I like the smell of the air”, said the small child

“It’s the smell of the sea child,” said the turtle

The child thought to herself that the sea looked like beautiful patchwork quilt of colors

She thanked the turtle and moved down closer to the sea

She saw a figure standing at the edge and watched as the fish of the sea and the birds of the sky gathered

She walked quietly, not making a single sound

The powdery warm sand beneath her feet brought joy to her heart and she smiled

As she grew closer

The figure turned around

His face was bright like the sun and rainbows danced off his finger tips

The birds of the sky circled him and cried joyous songs

The fish of the sea danced on top of the water

The man handed the girl a stone

It was the most beautiful jade green she had ever seen although it was quite plain.

The man told the girl to hold onto the stone and that any time she needed to be comforted from a bad dream or to dry her tears

She could hold the stone and he would appear in her mind

Clearing away all that she feared and make her know

It’s not real

The girl thanked the man and took her pretty jade green rock and went back towards the path

She thanked the birds of the sky and the fish in the sea, turned and walked back into the woods where she lived

She ran back to the Wolf and told him what had happened

When the wolf heard the story he asked the girl to see the rock

As she pulled it from the little pouch that hung around her neck,

It felt quite different and not the same plain rock she was given

She placed it in the palm of her hand and held it out for the Wolf to see

As she opened her hand the rock had turned into a likeness of the man she met

The Wolf knew this man and explained to the little girl about the man who loves all beings

He lives in the woods and the sea, the earth and the sky, and now he lives here

The Wolf touched the girl with his nose

She looked at the beautiful green statue she held in her hand

“Does he have a name?” asked the child

“Buddha,” answered the Wolf.

The Sea and The Darkness

The sound of the waves

Lapping at the shore in the darkness

It needs not be seen in the light

I’ve seen it so many times

It is burned into my memory

I can see the froth

The glistening sand as the water recedes

I can hear the rocks rolling as the waves recede back into the inky blackness

I can smell the salt air and feel the coolness

The stars in the heavens are doubled in the reflection on the sea and the endless horizon bends ever so slightly

The moon shimmers on the ripples as they return to the sea

I get goose bumps as I open my eyes and feel the cool night air

I sit back, take a drink and breathe

Ahhhh…

The Child and The White Buffalo

In a land of wonder

Once a small child lived among the animals of the sky, streams and deserts.

She sought silence in the vast mountains that surrounded her home.

One night during a fitful dream,

The White Buffalo came to her in dreams of grief and sorrow, He’d spread his wings…

Rainbows and fire filled the sky

In his path he burned everything evil from the child’s mind and the rainbows were his promise.

The heart of Otter still guarded her

With love she thanked the White Buffalo and she drifted off into a deep sleep.

The stars told the story that night

The moon smiled

The child dreamed of sunlight bouncing off moonbeams and all her sorrows went away.

She woke to the new day

She smiled at the sun and

Felt the beating of her heart

Surrounded by light she danced and sang

She rested among the flowers

The tormentors are gone

She smiled and her smile

Was brighter than the sun and the animals of the sky, streams and deserts surrounded her and rejoiced.

The Gift

The hollow heartbeat

The tearful eye

The gift so precious

Lie broken at my feet

The hallowed ground

The woeful cry

The breath

The only sound

My voice has no words

My mind wanders

Seeking

Full of thoughts

Passing memories

The pain the sorrow

The love and joy

A balance

I hear my hollow heartbeat

I wipe my tearful eye

I give my gift so precious and lay it at your feet

Pseudo Baja

Traveling this year has been full of trials and upsets, joy and sorrow. Mainly due to this pandemic circling the globe now for the second time…COVID, the *rona, the cove…by any name it still brings a certain amount of fear and a huge amount of cautiousness. We have done our best the last six months to be away from people and close social contact. This is some real shit, at least to half the population of the world that is taking it with seriousness.

We also have just come through an election that was pins and needles. The amount of stress we felt was overwhelming. The tension was felt even into campsites and passing through small towns. I have to wonder how someone’s mind can become so blind to the lies and prejudice this man exudes. At least now the flags have come down and people are just cordial and most maintain distance.

Our plans originally fell to the wayside with travel restrictions, closing airports and whole countries. We were going to drive to Alaska this past summer but the Canadian border remained closed. We instead played in Montana around the Canadian border towns at the foothills of the Canadian Rockies. We kayaked and fished, stayed in the wild outdoors until the weather crapped out on us. Then we headed south.

Our next plans were to go to the Baja for this winter. There were quite a few women travelers that had planned a trip the year before COVID. This border still remains closed.

Of course we could fly… but now-a-days that is only a guarantee one way. We have kicked it around several times over the last month. All our bag of tricks are slowly getting taken away with the third big surge of COVID in the US and worldwide. I have friends who got stuck outside of Ft Lauderdale on a cruise ship when the first panic hit in March. Travelers were stuck in all parts of the world and some took months to get home.

Things have kicked in again this year. This time the entire country is sharing in the East Coast’s fate from the first big wave of COVID. We are nervous about large gatherings and towns. We are hyper-vigilant, now more than ever. We avoid established, park here, park here type campsites for the more primitive. We are totally self contained so we can stay away for days and be totally off grid. The beauty of being completely off grid?… No cell, no XM… now that’s remote.

So here we sit, off a 5 mile washboard road from hell. Quite narrow and steep…then it opened up as we crested the hill. Before us, Lake Mohave, Telephone Cove, Nevada. We are near where all three states come together. This little cove is peaceful, quite and secluded. Pebblee stone and sand beach gently sloping into a bay of sky blue. The desert sprawls out before us, ten old cottonwoods hold tight to their small purchase of land, providing shade and shelter for the small desert birds and large loud Mina birds and ravens.

There are a few other campers scattered up and down the beach in assorted RV type vehicles right up to full on converted school buses. Every little pod is a world in itself. Children and dogs run up and down the beach. Adults talk to others from a safe distance. Roof top tents sprinkle the far shore, full on trumpees occupy the next cove, flags faithfully flying, then comes the various pull trailers and full on 5th wheels the size of half a city block… how the Hell did they get down here anyway?!? Then a few do it yourself van builds round out the mix.

The temps in the Colorado corridor range mid 40s to mid 50s at night and high 60-80s in the days. It’s a perfect climate for whatever you want to do. Yesterday we went trail riding with the UTV and came around the corner to the most beautiful private cove. BHAM!! There is no way anything other than a UTV, dirt bike, horse or snowmobile could swim threw the 12-20” sand oceans comprising the trail.

We returned to camp and cooked up a nice gourmet dinner. Nice end to the day.

This morning we woke to see a couple stand up boards on the bay, a kayak and a canoe. The bay was like glass and the sky reflected like a mirror, painting its best morning hues. We are planning a kayak trip after a few minor chores. The lake is higher but an algae bloom has got me worried so Gandaulf will need to stay dry today. I am not taking any chances with him either.

Slow lazy days sitting in the midday sun, stairway to heaven playing softly in the back ground, makes us think, “maybe this is as good as it’s gonna get this winter”…aside from a true “house”, this may be our pseudo Baja.

In The Silence I Scream

Do you hear me?

Am I talking in a language foreign to your ears?

Are my words worth uttering?

Only to fall on deaf ears

A closed mind

Where is the kindness and love I once felt?

It is always my fault…

Never is it you that takes blame

Am I really that terrible person you make me out to be?

Perhaps it’s time to let go.

Perhaps it’s time to take care of me.

How my heart aches to think of such things…

As I scream in the silence

Will you listen?

Tears stream down my face in rivers…

Filling oceans with bitter tears of anger

The anger that covers and consumes all emotion

Fuel on a fire of indecision

Please listen.

Don’t throw me away like last nights leftovers.

Don’t push me away then pull me closer.

My fragile self is broken into a million pieces I am trying to put back together

I will do it alone if needs be

I reach out…

I scream…

I struggle…

In the silence I weep.

what’s wrong with me?

What’s wrong with me? I asked…

And they said…

We are here as protectors

Of your mind and body

We are record keepers

Writers

Children

Terrorists

Sadness

Erotic lover

Confusion

Intense happiness

Dark thoughts

Secrets kept silent

We are you and you are us

What’s wrong?

Nothing my dear… this is your normal

You are strong

You are beautiful

You love deeply

You are…

Too intense for some

Lost in thought

Compassionate

There’s nothing broken or bent

That can’t be repaired with time

There’s no safety net

Be courageous

Be brave

Be patient

Be kind.