Day Six: What’s it All About?

If I hadn’t cried enough this week the whole room was a heaving sea of sobbing bodies. The final meditation was on forgiveness. It’s been really hard for me to say I’m sorry…sincerely. My apologies have always been empty and sarcastic.

Today I was forced to examine my part in the harm I’ve caused. The last few months have probably been very difficult for those around me. Today I owned my part in the pain I have unintentionally and intentionally inflicted on those around me. I have forgiven those who have intentionally and unintentionally hurt me. My heart has been released from the heavy chains of resentment and hurt.

As in every sitting we invited those close to us into our heart space and loved them, then those who have passed on and our ancestors into the heart and wrapped them in love. Then, the hardest was to bring in those who have caused us harm and forgave them for what they have done…of the 85 people in the room, including the teachers, there was not a dry eye in the hall.

We closed our session with a dharma talk and prayer for our departed friends, family and others. We had been putting together a small alter in their memory. I wrote a small note about Faye. She would have loved the transformation I have made this week. I thought about her quite often and she accompanied me through my down times as she used to do when she was still with us. I feel that I have finally grieved for her one last time and after five years she is now in a soft place in my heart and a guiding force in my life.

The day ended with our silence being released. Hugs were exchanged and well wishes given. The 85 people I spent these intimate last 6 days with will be indelibly etched into my life, even though I may never meet them again. We shared something so intimate in our individual silence. I have walked away with a felling of community and love. Compassion for life and a love for all beings, most importantly, myself!

Author: Two Travelin' Chicas... A Grand Adventure

Since I can remember I have been interested in travel, writing and photography. I am a 50 some year young gal from UTAH! This year, 2017, is the beginning of the third phase of my life. Together with my soul mate Chris Williams and Pembroke Corgi, Gandaulf, we are setting out to travel around the world. Through this blog I hope you will all travel vicariously through the ups and downs of this part of our lives. Come and join in this... A GRAND ADVENTURE...

One thought on “Day Six: What’s it All About?”

  1. This last post, my dear Johnna, gives me chills with tears running down my face. I’m so very happy for you. What you said about ‘releasing the heavy chains of resentment and hurt’ was profound. Also, about saying you’re sorry… sincerely, and truly forgiving yourself and others. Such deep personal understanding and growth in this transformation! It warms my heart that you ‘have grieved for Faye one last time and after five years she is now in soft place in your heart and a guiding force in your life.’ I love you dear, dear friend. Syl

    Liked by 1 person

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