The Next Step

Good day Lama

I sitting in Seattle in our way to Nepal. Kamala is taking care of Gandaulf…he’s taken to her nicely. The shop is in the capable hands of my Controller. My shop is being watched over by my mechanic and detailer. My sales floor by my new salesman that I doubt will make it…hope he stays through June. As many unknowns and variables that I can dream up do nothing but cause pain and fear. It is time to let go and believe the universe has whatever it does in store and if I was there or not, I would have no control over. This never gets any easier.

On the other hand, this is a trip I am excited about. I have always been fascinated with the history and cultures of other lands. The people, I find, are so peaceful and content in their lives. It’s such a joy to step out of my high stress business owner life, and slip silently into their world and not compare, not judge, but envelop myself into their lives. The abject poverty they don’t seem to notice…it’s all they know. Their hearts are usually pure and uncorrupted. They have a love for life I have always envied. My life used to be so simple and I’ve gone and messed it all up. I long to be simple and back to basics. I understand suffering so deeply I wish I could turn back the hands of time, but the hand has been dealt by my own hand. My life isn’t terrible just too stressful. This practice and your guidance has shown me how to find that happy me again. Please do not discount yourself.

Whether you know it or not, I found you when I got so sick last summer. You didn’t know me from Adam, not I you, at least that’s what we thought at the time. It was often your direction that saw me through the days. I don’t know if I ever thanked you for that. You were my life line and kept me centered and grounded when my life and health were tearing at every fiber of my being. I have a feeling we have a lot to learn from each other.

I am fortunate to have found USL. Thank you Rinpoche for having a place of refuge from the confusion of life. For creating a “family” I am coming to love. I am slowly being accepted into the sangha and there are some learning curves as I have found out the hard way. I am a great student and I try with all my best efforts to do as I am told, to drop the ego, to become selfless and compassionate towards other. It is all things that may have been in me but have been awakened through the  dharma, meditation and contemplation. I bow to you my teacher for your steadfast guidance. Your firm hand and your questioning me through the process. I hope that I have not let you down. I am not doing this for anyone but myself but I still am a people pleaser.

Through all this has awakened a sleeping giant. I am listening to The Jewel Tree of Tibet. It’s a retreat lead by Robert Thurman. It should get me to Nepal and hold many worthy teachings and insights. I truly feel that Buddhism is the path I think I have been looking for all my life. Maybe I’ve been a traveler in a past life. Maybe a teacher. All I know is for the second time in my life I have found “like minded people” and a practice I can work into daily life easily. A practice that helps me to reconnect with all my “magic”, my strengths and utilize them for others as I was born to do. Finally I understand my gift of empathy and how it fits into the Teachings of the Buddha in helping others.

I have no expectations for this trip. As hard as it is for me to go so far without a true agenda, I am trusting that the path will become clearer. It would be a great honor if I was allowed to take refuge in Nepal. To be in the presence of my teacher, my teachers teacher and his teachers. Truely humbled. If it is part of the path I am traveling on, it will happen. For now I will enjoy the journey.

Thanks for all you do.